Just came back from a 3 day field camp exercise which left me pretty drained. Its a pretty major exercise, sort of like a prelim exams for our unit, since there are ppl from external units to evaluate our performance. ( Y E S.. u heard it rite.. we do have our own exams too! ) Its pretty tough being a NSF nowadays eh.. heh.
Other than having practical tests, we have theory tests ( Y E S, i know... What the fuck rite ) as well. We have to memorise the technical aspects of weapons and drills. For eg, we must know exactly how far a weapon can fire. My question is, say a weapon can fire up to 500m, how the hell am i supposed to tell the difference between 495m and 505m? Use a measuring tape before firing at the enemy?? See enemy then fire already lah, don't have to talk so much!
Anyway, this being our 'prelim exam', meant that the missions we faced were tough and arduous. We walked non-stop from 5pm to 7am the next day. Everyone was enervated. I have realised that it was indeed possible to sleep while standing up ( Been there done dat! ). But being commanders, we have to motivate our men and disguise our own lassitude, often having to to flash a "I-am-so-enjoying-myself-in-this-fucking-forest face".
When the medic who was behing me nearly fainted out of exhaustion, i had to carry his fieldpack and weapon since the nearest evacuation post was still some 3-4 km away. In retrospect, i prob. lost all resemblance of a soldier as i probably looked like a mother carrying his son's schoolbag while guiding him along the road. But its through tough times like these that you find out who are the people who are truly dependable, the people who will step forward to help share my load or help guide the medic along the way, the people that you can trust for life.
Perhaps this is why i enjoy being in the combat side. Friends question my sanity for not downgrading and join them in their 8-5pm clerical duties. I would be lying to say that i have never thought of downgrading.. Sure, everybody wld want to take the easy way out. For a small sum of money, there are mendacious doctors out there who wld give chimerical medical status such as 'allergic to grass' or some weird diseases. So why waste your life crawling in mud and getting bitten by mosquitoes?? For me, its probably due to pride. While some people refer PRIDE as an acronym for ' People Rest I Do Extra', i refer to it as assuming responsiblities that are shoved onto your shoulders and doing it with dignity. What does pride looks like , feel like, taste like? Can I kiss it, embrace it? No, whats worth savouring is the vindication in knowing that i have excelled in my job scope and discovering the toughness and endurance of my innerself.
Kennyster @
10:39 PM
The Unpretty
Kenny Loh
23
Formerly from Dunman High, VJC and formerly a proud member of the 2SIR 11th mono Alpha Company Apache warriors.
Currenly a 3rd year student at the Singapore Management University.
I'm into books, pool, soccer & conversation (by day), justice, honour & vengeance (by night).
Constantly on the lookout for crimelords, deformed megalomaniacs and women.
