Kennyster

Sunday, December 28, 2003

BRUNEI

My third overseas training stint in one year. ( i reckon i should become a Titanium Mileage Plus Member of Singapore Airlines by the time i leave for Taiwan again in two months time.. haha )

The camp which were were housed in was pretty old and the bunk was a long wooden hut which looked like some kampung house.. CooL!!

Cookhouse food sucked though. The food was stodgy and taste-free. The place really seemed to go out of its way to rob people of their appetites... *sigh* *yearns for a bowl of laksa*

Kennyster @ 8:39 PM

Saturday, December 27, 2003

Hey people! I will be gone from today till jan10th 2004 as i will be flying to Brunei for 2 wks of army training *sighz* wun be celebrating new yr in Singapore this yr so to the rest of the people, happy new yr in advance !!

Don't miss me ppl! haha.. kidding... My parents are like quite bo chup (dont care) about me already.. haha.. The first time i went taiwan last yr, my mom was waving from the boarding counter like a tearful dockside wife in a WW2 movie... the second time i went away my mom told my dad to fetch me there... Well, yesterday, my dad said he will give me $10 to take taxi tomorrow.... Oei! haha.. im ur only son leh!

Last thoughts:

2003: 2003 was different. Would be celebrating new yr in Brunei. Spent a month at jurong island. Being an integral part of National Day Parade. Spent a month in taiwan exploring the village life in the rural areas --- A cacophonic mess of delight, perplexity and pain. The agony and the ectasy. All was topsy-turvy. Fast and slow. Hot and cold..... It made no sense....

Kennyster @ 2:53 AM

Thursday, December 25, 2003

ZOUK!!

Went clubbing with john and weixiong today. Great music ( mambo jambo and phuture ), great crowd... Actually john wanted to meet a gal there so we were summoned to be there for erhmm, moral support?? haha.. But clearly this guy doesnt need any from us. John has charm, i have to admit it. Goddamnit!! This guy is more disarming than a team of UN weapons inspectors. ha!

We were dancing, dancing, dancing, and before even 3 songs ended, John and the gal were already kissing one another and RIGHT after dat, he kisses another gal, her friend i wld suppose. Oh man..you got to be kidding me.. haha, for a moment there, i didnt recognise him. He was not John, my buddy or the armskote spec. No, that cant be him. Tonight, he is someone else.. Tonight he is John Guk -- Super Stud of Seduction!

Haha, was tempted to ask him how he does it, getting gals to throw themselves at him but i can imagine he wld prob say something like one thing led to another and blah blah..

Question is, How EXACTLY does one thing lead to another, because that must be the bit that I'm getting all wrong. I understand the "we were drinking and we started dancing" part... ( i can do dat! ) .. but how did they get from the first stage to the last?? haha... is there a secret spell or something which i shd say?? ... Or perhaps my Funky Chicken Dance, all poking neck and flapping arms isnt that great a turn-on as i thought it wld be.... hee hee..

But on a more serious note though, i just dont like approaching girls in clubs. Its just so...so not me .. haha.. You can tell me all the crap like "Strike while the iron is hot", " She can only say no", or "God loves a trier"... and all i can think of is the molested look a gal wld give me if i say hi to her.. haha..

To be honest, i wld prefer to meet someone at a coffee place, bookshop, library ( however unlikely that it will ever happen! ) but all the same, at least if we hit it off, im certain that at least we wld actually remember each other's names and we wld be sober to know that our conversation did actually occur....

Anyway, crap aside, it was pretty fun althought the John-kissing-everybody act was getting way to nauseous for WX or me to take it such dat we had to head somewhere else to minger.. haha..

Only downside of today's clubbing was that we saw a group of transvestites... Dressed in what can only be described as an economical effort at a dress and having mammary glands encased in bra cups big enough to house Pavarotti and his twin brother... oh God , EWWWWW!! )

And oh, how could i forget, haha, MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody!! Party hard and have a smashing new year!!

Kennyster @ 2:13 PM

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

"One Ring rules them all"

Watched Return of the King at Shaw today. Living up to the mammoth expectations, this movie contained many epic sequences of awe-inspiring scope, to the extent that I wanted to jump out of my seat and onto the Pelennor Fields ( popcorn on my left hand, coke on my right ), fighting side by side with the Rohan people, as we slay the flying dragons and do battle with the vast lumbering What-the-fuck-is-that-thing elephantine creatures, and finally kick all the Orcs' asses aLLLL the way back to Mount Doom! haha, i wish.

But what i think made this trilogy so special for me is that the characters' are endowed with genuine heroism-- they have the courage to do do difficult, frightening, dangerous and noble things in spite of their fears, NOT because they they are fearless.... Also, what i found most poignant in the movie was the bond between Frodo and Sam, a friendship forged in suffering, which i thought was pretty touching.

Only complaint about the movie would be the film's final scenes, which seemed liked a road that went on and on and on. Oh man, u cld tell that the director just couldn't bear to let go of his characters... There was way too much hugging and crying at the end for my liking...

I mean, ROLL THE GODDAM CREDITS... I NEED TO PEE!!!... DESPERATELY! haha

Kennyster @ 11:06 PM

Red HOT chilli peppers!!

Bought their DVD from Music Junction for $27 ( $5 cheaper than HMV!! ). One of my favourite rock bands, i read somewhere in some crap magazine dat they were voted best concert performancers or something like that and you could see why....

I mean these people really knew how to get the crowd into a party mood.

Step one: Bass guitar starts up like a SIA airbus -- with the audience as its flight path.
Step two: The nerve-jarring electronic squeal of the synthesizer.
And FINALLY: the song starts!!

End product?

The WHOLE audience executing the kind of jubilant jump normally associated with winning the lottery or Ole Gunnar Solskjaer scoring the winning goal in the 1999 European Cup Finals.

"Standinggg in line to see the showww there's a light on heavy glow... Byyyyy the wayyy i try to say i'll be there.....

*Kenny executes some sort of quadruple reverse pike, throws in a few sticking-out-pelvis -manoeuvres* heehee... ( You guys WONT want to see me do that..EVER... hahaha )

Kennyster @ 10:37 PM

Back to updating my blog, just wanna say its been a bloody hectic week for me, having just completed a week of standby duties.. ( ie: if anything was to happen in singapore during the wk, we wld prob. be the first bunch of ppl on the scene.... how assuring to know that im ur first line of defense eh.. haha... ) k k ... quick summary of my wk in camp...

MONDAY 16dec
Relatively slack day except for a 4 km run. Was running fine till my left leg started to stiffen up. Kept running though. Uneven now. Left leg refused to bend. Swearing. Slowing. Looked around. People overtaking. More swearing, Hokkien this time. Losing momentum. Kept running. Pain sapping my stamina. Cant believe it. Barely running. Leg muscles tightening... Finished the run though. Spent the rest of the day lying on the bed.. haha...

TUESDAY 17dec
Rio Ferdinand gets banned for 8 months... What the fuck?! Arsenal gets away with their hooligan-like behaviour at Old Trafford and Rio gets 8 months? This sucks man.

MONDAY 21dec
Had a CO (CO stands for Commanding Officer, ie my big boss) address on the trip to Brunei next wk. CO conferences shd be classified as an Olympic event, or at least a SEA games event. They are stamina trials, triathlons for the brain, endurance trials being scribbling notes and desperately trying to stay awake.

In case u didnt know, a CO conference can really stretch for HOURS. He wld talk all day if u let him. Talk is fine. No one can object to talk. But my CO didnt talk. He conquered. He would open his mouth and the most overwhelming tide of words would gush forth, drowning everything in its path. He didnt just talk in words or sentences or paragraphs. He talked in pages. He covered everything from the flight number to the exact schedule and safty precautions.

At one pt of time, just as we thought the briefing was over, he started summarising what we had done in the past 12 months or so.

Take a knife. Plunge into heart. Twist.

Help.

I guess he was just trying to motivate us for the tough trainings ahead of us. Kept repeating that we were 'one of the best bunch of ppl' around and we had the potential to be 'the best in the SAF'... Eyebrows were semaphoring all ard the room. We are talking Oscar-Winning Eyebrow Performances here.. haha... 'Yeah Rite' we seemed to be saying to each other..

After 50 minutes of agonising talking, my CO looked at his notes once more, cast his eyes heavenward for a second, and finally asked:" I think thats all for u.".

My writing hand was throbbing severely. Relieved and frankly exhausted, i gathered my stuff and shook my hand back to life....

Kennyster @ 12:04 AM

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Warning: Do NOT eat ice-cream while u are on the computer.... Well, i just spent 15 minutes cleaning up my keyboard after a generous scoop of chocolate chip ice-cream, to my immense horror, fell smack on top of my keyboard. ... And when u have a mom like mine who uses my cpu, AND who is a cleanliness-freak, there is no way in hell u cld escape without totally cleaning up the mess...

No bloody way. My mom wld have me hung, drawn, and quartered. And then hung again.

Kennyster @ 11:11 PM

Saturday, December 13, 2003

Went to watch Internal Affairs 3 today.
Actually didnt want to watch because it was a 9.55pm movie and i was really tired. But Horse ( actually my friend kiatwee, who looks like a horse, talks like a horse, and runs like a horse... haha, like damn mean ah, but erhmm.. adorable horse? heehee )

Anyway, he just got his driving license and was dying to smash up his dad's car and thus offered me a lift. Knowing me the cheapo, i agreed readily.

Halfway through the journey, i began to realise why he offered me a lift.

He needed someone to be his rear and side mirrors...

'Kenny, help me see if its clear to move to the right lane."

"Check your side mirror lor."

"I forgot to adjust the mirrors just now."

Awesome. Damn reassuring to hear that in the middle of a freakin' highway.

And from whoever he learnt his driving from, learning to brake gradually obviously wasnt high up in the agenda. Because this guy brakes damn hard can.

Twice, when he hit the brakes, i attempted, quite spontaneously, a Superman impression from a sitting position.

"Sorry ah, just passed my driving test 2 wks ago."

"haha, its okay." i said, lying through my teeth.

But the most infuriating part was parking the car. We spent 15 solid minutes in the parking lot. NOT because there wasnt an empty slot, but because he cldnt reverse the car properly.
The car ended up moving back and forth.

Oh boy, how did he passed his test??

Anway, this incident was definitely a Kodak moment if ever there was one.

Centuries passed.

Got alittle pissed and got off the car to direct it in.

"haha, kenny ah, u shd have done that long ago, then dont have to waste time ."

During your test you got ask ur examiner to get off the car to guide u in meh, i wanted to say, but didn't.

Anyway, dont ask me how the movie was, i dozed off midway...... *bleah*

Kennyster @ 12:19 PM

Friday, December 12, 2003

Men only like blow jobs because they know women can't talk with their mouths full. Proof of how insane men are. I mean, if you were a bloke, would you put it in a mouth, where there are teeth? The teeth of a female who's been discriminated against for centuries? --- Simon Cage

Kennyster @ 8:25 AM

Watched "Love Actually" today and its a real gem, one of those feel-good movies and maybe give ppl the courage to do something stupid like expressing their affection for someone dear? haha.. dont know lah

Most of “Love Actually” is as bright and cheery as a string of Christmas lights. But it also reminds us that not everyone gets a merry Christmas. A single present plucked from under the tree changes a life forever. A wedding video that shows only close-ups of the bride's face reveals a hopeless passion.

Anyway, Keira Knightly is like super hot can. I'm trying to figure out which planet she's from. She's probably from the sun, since she's hot, and that's like, erhm, the hottest planet? haha.

In the spirit of the Are You Hot? show, i give Keira a 10 for her face, 10 for body, and 11 for sex appeal.

Haha, maybe they can make a show about me... called "ARE YOU DESPERATE?"

Kennyster @ 7:31 AM

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Okay, these are the people that orbit my universe currently, or at least stay with me in the bunk.

1) John Guk
Probably my best friend in camp, especially since he's one the few who have come to accept my erratic behaviour more or less without question and thinks that every utterence which i make is jaw-breaking funny. ( ie: we are both pathetic losers. haha)

Dancing is what he does best. No, wait, 'dancing' is too tame a word. It was more like floor carving. This guy could give dancing lessons to Michael Jackson and Justin Timberlake. It was prob. as dirty as you cld get without latex.

I suck in comparison. I can only do 2 types of dances -- One of them is Funky Chicken (self-explainatory) and the other isn't. Okay okay, if u insist on knowing, the other is the Arm Caterpillar. You know that one? you just flick your left arm like a caterpillar and move tru to the right arm in one fluid motion and vice versa.

So not surprising John gets all the gals ya.. haha ( goddamit!)

Surprisingly though hes extremely insecure abt his appearances.
Kenny, am i thin?

"Kenny, am i thin or am i very thin?"

"Kenny, do u think im tanned?"

"Kenny, whos tanner? Kevin or me?"

Argh, damn irritating can! i can imagine the next time he asks this qn.

"Kenny, am i --"
*ke bish! * *kenny does an Ong Bak move*

2) Kalai
The only non-chinese in the bunk. Counts Marlboro and Tiger as his best buddies. Despite being a heavy smoker and has a substantial beer belly, he has A-M-A-Z-I-N-G lungs. Seriously! This guy runs effortlessly. During endurance runs, he would glide pass me in an instant, flashing me a thumbs-up sign while im just about to get into a serious bout of hyper ventilation. Arrgh, isnt smoking supposed to have averse effect on his lungs??!!

Eats loads of rubbish. Seriously, peanut butter spooned directly from the jar is NOT a meal, in the true sense of the word. Although generally a real comical guy, NEVER mess with him on a bad day. He can administer the kind of tongue-lashing most people will never forget. Be warned!

3) Vincent Lim
Formerly from ACJC, this so-not-Ang-Mo-pai chap spends the bulk of his salary on clubbing and soccer betting. Acutally, prob most of it on betting since he bets abt $200 weekly and he never ever wins. Its not even a case of 'seldom win'. its really more of a 'Never Ever win' scenerio. It remains a mystery how he lays claims to having even out the lossess....

Belongs to the beer-drinking clan that has weekly beer sessions in camp. ( even though he cant really hold his drink ) haha.

There was once when he got really drunk and he spent the rest of the night sick beyond belief, culminating with a graceful dive towards the floor beside the bed. ( which i personally feel would have make one helluva commercial NOT to drink ) .

And guess who had to help him to the toilet and clear up the mess?

Yup, yours truly. *bleah*

4) Kevin Foo
Has the reputation of being a major bon vivant in our bunk. Zips around in his dad's BMW 520i on weekends This guy is a freakin' speed demon. Quite apparently the world never existed when he was driving and frankly speaking, im not sure if i can even trust him with a shopping cart. haha. A major party animal, part of our alpha mambo posse, he clubs at least twice a week.

Despite his pretty active social life, hes a real responsible guy, which kinda explains why he universally adored in the company. He has the organisational abilities of a deity and knew everything, work-wise.

Kennyster @ 9:17 AM

Sunday, December 07, 2003

Its 11.30pm

Its a Saturday night.

I shd be boogie-ing with my friends at Mdm Wong or at Double O' now.

I shd be getting myself stone drunk, losing all my inhibitions.

Yet i'm sitting here, staring at the computer screen in my room, with a cup of hot coffee by my side, thinking of wat to write today.

"Oh creativity, where have thine glorious bounties gone??"

haha. Am i a blog addict?

Perhaps.

I have been blogging for about 3 months now and all in all, it had been lots of fun. I think that i'm filling a v.impt need in my life --- a need to create.

O K A Y, so its not a painting, or a book, or a poem, or even something remotely redeeming on some social level , but i think im creating some kind if art through my written thoughs, through the images i insert on my page ( although most mysteriously dont load anyway.. bleah ), and though the songs i play. More importantly, this blog has become one of my most self-indulgent items, serving as a sounding board ( ie: a place to bitch-all-i-want ) *grinz*

Some people like to keep their blogs private. I dont think i intend or want to keep mine private. Maybe its a cry for sympathy or something, or im just simply letting out my exhibitionist tendencies since im removed from the face to face interaction process of everyday life. I mean, i can say anything without the slightest fear of an consequences. In my own blog world, i rule! ( how cool is dat?! ) . And the worst thing that cld happen to me is that my friends will message me saying "you're nuts" or that i have "nothing better to do". haha

But what makes my day is when someone links me, especially when its unknown to me that they are doing it, because it means that they have stumbled onto my page through some means and have actually come to like it enough to give it some sort of seal of approval. That really makes me feel flattered. *grinz*

NOTE: i noe i dont have any buddy links and its not because i dont like any other blog pages. Its simply because i just dont have any fucking idea how to insert it rite.. haha. OKAY, dont roll your eyes and look at me as if im the dimmest person u have ever met...bleah

Kennyster @ 3:35 AM

Saturday, December 06, 2003

I really like the new song from Travis... Re-Offender...

To be honest, im someone who have alawys been ignoring Travis, thinking of them as Coldplay brit-pop wannabes types, but Re-Offender really swept me off my feet.

The lyrics are so simple, but yet they are sung in such a way that it isn't hard to relate them to something in your own life... Anyone can say I Love You or I Hate You, but they can both be said in so many ways... this song to me says i hate you so much i need you more than anything.

It makes me feel happy and sad at the same time, which i personally think may be the greatest feeling in the world sometimes.... Enjoy!

TRAVIS' RE-OFFENDER

Keeping up appearances
Keeping up with the Jones'
Fooling my selfish heart
Going through the motions

But I'm fooling myself
I'm fooling myself
Cause you say you love me
And then you do it again, you do it again
You say your sorry's
And then you do it again, you do it again

Everybody thinks you're well
Everybody thinks I'm ill
Watching me fall apart
Falling under your spell

But you're fooling yourself
You're fooling yourself
Cause you say you love me
And then you do it again, you do it again
You say your sorry's
And then you do it again, you do it again
And again and again and again and again

But you're fooling yourself
You're fooling yourself
Cause you say you love me
And then you do it again, you do it again
You say your sorry's
And then you do it again, you do it again
You say you love me
And then you do it again, you do it again
You say your sorry's
And then you do it again, you do it again
And again and again and again and again

Kennyster @ 10:01 PM

Friday, December 05, 2003

What did Newton's dick say to him after seeing a nude woman?

"Fuck you and your law of gravity, I'm going UP!"

Kennyster @ 6:57 PM

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Failed my TP( traffic police ) test today.

Come on, laugh, gloat.... ha, leave your name in my tagboard. I will come crashing into you when i finally do pass the next time round.

Disappointed? Of cos i am. But somewhow i'm not as sad as i thought i shd be. Perhaps its because i knew that i should have passed. Its not as if i had overturned the car or something. In fact my circuit was almost perfect. ( i got 2 or 3 demerit pts for it, meaning i cld afford up to 15 demerit pts for the 2nd stage and still pass the test.)

Obviously beeming with confidence at this point of time, i drove faster. As i was approaching a zebra crossing, i maintained my speed since i did not see anybody.

Suddenly, and i really mean suddenly, some arsehole just came running onto the zebra crossing.

Too late to jam my brakes so i sped pass the zebra crossing instead since the pedestrian was still a gd 2m plus away from my car.

My world collapsed.

I cast dagger looks in the direction of my horrified tester. He looked at me as if i had just killed somebody. I could have adopted the classic arms spread "Who? What? Me? I didnt do anything!" pose that soccer players like Roy Keane always assume after they have kicked someone's kneecap off.

But lets be more adult about this. I accepted the fact that i was negligent. I got 13 pts eventually but *sigh sigh sigh fuck fuck fuck* , i had an "immediate failure" pt. No use crying over spilled milk. I would rather shake myself like a wet dog. There was no point in prolonged mopery. I knew that the world wldn't change if i frowned hard enough. I knew because i had tried that and it didnt work.haha so well, wait for another time to pass my test i guess.... *chuckle*

Note: Anyway i would like to say that i have the best parents in the whole wide world. haha, bold claim u might say but thats wat i think anyway. Upon hearing that i had failed my TP test, they immediately launch into a damage limitation exercise. They bought me satay, a pint of haagen diaz ice cream and treated me like the spoilt brat that i was when i was younger. My mom even gave me a big hug and words of encouragement.

I was coping well with my result but my mom's actions made me emotional. This is a good example of a phenomenon i had noticed again and again. You can be hard as nails, I can anyway, when everyone and everything is going wrong. But as soon as someone ( in this instance, my mom ) shows you a kindness -- you just want to crack wide open.

I didnt cry. But i felt so loved, to the extent that i felt guilty since i cant remember doing anything to deserve such unconditional love from my parents.

I feel like the luckiest kid on earth.

My parents made me feel special,

At least for tonight.

Love you mom and dad....=)

Kennyster @ 7:52 PM

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Few of us have any memories of our lives before we were 3 yrs old. This is an evolutionary necessity - If we cld recall what bastards we were to our parents we'd never have any children of our own --- Somebody.

Kennyster @ 2:23 PM

Monday, December 01, 2003

Dear michael jackson,

I hate to say it, but i think youre fucked.

I saw the news today of the santa barbara sheriffs, and the 60 deputies that they sent to your home in riot gear to storm your gates. i saw their smiles as they explained how the law has changed since 10 years ago, the last time you were accused of abusing a kid.

this accusation, arrest, and hoo-ha has gotten everyone whom i know to instantly deem you guilty.

Just because youre freaky looking.

Just because you were accused before.

And just cuz you live a somewhat bizzare life.

Obviously you have issues. but we all do. Just because youre a nut, doesnt make you a sicko, jacko.

So i will reserve judgement until the trial is completed. And i will shake my head at officers of the law who smile over and over during press conferences about alleged child molestation.

It does suck that you built this ranch that kids of all ages would love to visit. and it totally sucks that you love kids and everyone freaks out when youre near them. and it super totally sucks that any time theres a young boy near you everyone starts whispering.

And as a free man, innocent of any charges, you should be allowed to hang out with whoever you want to, especially if their parents said it was cool. For some people handling success is harder than getting it. for some people handling their private lives is tougher than handling their public one.

Life isnt fair. its not fair that you dance so good, or sing so well. its not fair that you sold all those gazillions of records. its not fair that you were thrust into the public eye at such a young age and it wrecked your childhood. it isnt fair that your dad whipped you and did who knows what to you.

Anyawy, i really hope that what those smiling cops are saying isnt true.

cuz i think you rule.

Kennyster @ 8:39 PM

DId anybody catch the Mak Sim concert at 10pm on arts central?. you know that guy? The piano player with that bumberbee song? Well, this guy is awesome with the piano.

Anyway, watching him play the piano seemed obscene at times. This guy gets so spiritually invoved that i cant help but wonder if hes making love to the piano or something. haha, or is it just me feeling the vibes??

Anyway, often in his performance, he wld roll his eyes skyward in ecstasy. Me and John came to conclude that this guy is either having a 5 minute non-stop orgasm on stage or he was really high on drugs.

Haha, O K A Y, lousy jokes aside, this 1 hr programme made me realise how much i missed playing the piano. Its something which i have regretted from time to time.. sigh.. I quitted learning the piano when i was 14. I was in grade six den. I was spoilt and rebellious .My mum had to literally drag me by my legs to the piano centre at katong while i sulked and sulked and whined and whined. If i could travel back in time, i would have grabbed the 14yr old me and smashed him into the wall for being such a bastard kid. Imagine if i had continue playing the piano, i might actually become really gd at it and maybe even release an album.... Alright alright!.. it may be far fetched alittle but hey, u guys have to admit its plausible!.. *cheeky wink*

And bet you guys didnt know that i was in MEP ( music elective programme ) back in my secondary sch days in DHS rite? (And NO, im not kidding or anything so dont react as if i had just revealed that i could fly. heh ). Actually i was in there for a great grand total of half a day. And no, again, i wasn't expelled or anything. I quitted. it was the first day of sch. There was an introductory MEP lesson. I went into the music room. I looked around. I froze for the longest 5 minutes in the history of humanity.

There were 26 people in the class.

25 were girls.

At the age of 13, i was a mysogynist, a woman hater really. i firmly believed that girls were a species not to be messed with and were to be avoided at all costs. i was convinced that the whole MEP crap was a conspiracy theory to get me, to convert me into one of them. Told my mom that there was no way in hell i was going for another MEP lesson....

If i cld go back in time, i wld have grabbed the 13 yr old me and shouted at him at the top of my lungs. "WHAT WERE U THINKING??!!! ARE U A RETARD?? 25 gals 1 guy?? You COULD HAF BEEN THE LUCKIEST GUY IN SCH!!! Where the hell did u hide your hormones??!"

Pretty true.. haha.. It cld have been like the "The Bachelor" series, where i get surrounded by 25 smart and musically talented ladies.... *lusts wistfully* *saliva leaking out*

*sighs*

If only.

Kennyster @ 2:31 AM