Oh boy, my CSM ( company sergeant major ), the disciplinarian of the company, or rather, the cantankerous old sod of alpha company. He sucks big time! In fact, hes like the only man in human history who is able to be pre-menstrual 28 days a fucking month. Period. ( and yes, pun definitely intended.)
Our day of peace was completely ruined when all the commanders were summoned into the lecture room in the evening. Bad news. Its always fucking bad news when he orders a meeting.
First, he slammed - threw really- the door behind him, causing all of us to jerk in our seats. Door firmly shut, more shut than it had ever been in its life.
No way out.
My CSM paused himself, before casting his eyes around at everybody. Carpet bombing was imminent.
True enough, he snarled before starting a 5 minute machine gun blast of scalding bile in which he actually shocked many of us with the variety and scope of his profanity. In a stentorian voice, he boomed "I'm the mother****** of the bloody company. i dont care if every of u hates me. I dont fuckin care. I have been a bloody hypocrite for the past fucking yr. I've been acting as a nice guy for the past one yr and u ppl have gone out of control. I shall not be nice anymore. From now onwards im gonna be the bad ass guy of the bloody company! .. blah blah blah. This career best performance was rounded off with fifteen minutes of finger pointing, more swearing, and erhm, more swearing. In fact, it took him another 15 minutess to calm down to a more benign state of fury, in which he no longer posed an immediate physical threat to myself or my fellow suffering commanders.
Unfair. Total bullshit.
Pot? Kettle? Does these words mean nothing to u??
I dint think we deserved the scolding.
"You bloody commaners are the weakest link. You all have not controlled the men well."
YOU are the weakest link, i was tempted to say, but didnt. You always disappear when we are having physical training or u will end up with some mysterious medical appointments during our outfield exercises, iwas tempted to say but didnt. Nobody respects you, i was tempted to say but didnt. I stopped breathing and counted backwards from five to zero. Slowly.
Five.. four... three....two..one...
"I have purposely not conduct any spot checks at all for the past 5 months and dont think i dont know that the whole area is dirty and u all dont bother to ask the men to tidy up the place.
Five... four...three.. two...one..
"I trusted u ppl with the discipline of the men and quite frankly, u all have done a horrendous job. You maggots ought to take a look of youselves in the fucking mirror."
That was it. A grainy movie began to play in my head. I imagined myself to be the cocky hero with the perpetual smirk, abit like bruce willis only less irritating and sporting more hair. ( ha! ). 'you messed with the wrong guy,stupid dingbat!' I sneered as i pummelled my hapless CSM, who began to cry/whine almost instantly. 'I din mean what i said' he whimpered/begged but there was no mercy. He fell to the ground and tried to scamper away but the blews still rained down relentlessly..... ( Dreaming! )
But seriously, the best approach with such ppl, i had long since decided, was to agree with everything he said. If you cld articulate your remorsefulness without ever resorting to actual words, then so much the better. If u challenged him in even the slightest way, you cld forget about the next 3 hrs.
I still wanted to catch Survivor at 10 pm.....
Whats your mood today???
Mine's obviously sucky. I feel like a styrofoam toy plane, swung into the air with gargantuan force, pieces of me fly off whilst the main body continues to be hurled through the air without wings..... Bleah.
Kennyster @
2:04 AM
The Unpretty
Kenny Loh
23
Formerly from Dunman High, VJC and formerly a proud member of the 2SIR 11th mono Alpha Company Apache warriors.
Currenly a 3rd year student at the Singapore Management University.
I'm into books, pool, soccer & conversation (by day), justice, honour & vengeance (by night).
Constantly on the lookout for crimelords, deformed megalomaniacs and women.